


What Have I Done

by wilderminded



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-02-22 11:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22282060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wilderminded/pseuds/wilderminded
Summary: When Emily's younger sister, Olivia, arrives in La Push following the death of Harry Clearwater, she stumbles into things she never could have dreamed were reality. Post-New Moon; semi-canon/slight AU.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Original Female Character(s), Sam Uley/Emily Young
Comments: 19
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

It was almost 5pm when Emily called with the news about Harry Clearwater. Emily and I had grown up close with the Clearwaters, considering we were cousins, and I remembered spending multiple weeks each summer either down in La Push or here in Neah Bay with Leah and Seth. Harry wasn't much older than my own father, and the news that he was gone so suddenly was unsettling.

"Em, how are Leah and Seth?" I asked, blinking as my eyes watered. I could hear voices in the background, but I couldn't determine who they belonged to.

"Not good, Liv. This wasn't supp..." she stopped herself. "No one could have guessed this would happen. Everyone is in shock."

I nodded, though she couldn't hear that. At that moment, I heard the front door creak open, my mother's footsteps coming into the house. "Mom just got home," I told Em, holding out the receiver for her wordlessly. She noticed my expression, her concern growing as she and Emily spoke.

When she got off of the phone, she found me at the kitchen table. "Emily said that the funeral will be the day after tomorrow," my mom said, getting a cup out of the cabinets. "I know you'll want to be there for Leah and Seth."

I nodded silently, my fingers absentmindedly playing with the sleeve on my hoodie. "I, uh... Well I had news to tell you, which is why I'm home early," she mentioned as she sat across from me. My mother had gotten a job in Port Angeles working for an insurance company and had been making the hour and a half commute twice every day for the last two years... well, since the divorced had been finalized. She made enough to pay for the both of us, now that Emily had moved out.

"They want me to do a month-long training in Seattle," she said, her eyes studying my reaction. I smiled softly, sitting up a little more in the hard chair.

"Mom, that's amazing. Did you say yes?" I asked. I had tried not to let myself feel guilty for holding her back. I knew I was the only reason she was still on the reservation.

"I said I would think about it. Emily offered to let you stay with her while I was gone, if that would be okay with you," she half-asked, looking at me hopefully. I reached across the table, my hand on hers as I nodded.

"Of course, Mom. You should do it," I encouraged, and she held my hand between hers. "When does it start?"

"Next week," she admitted, glancing back at the calendar hanging behind her on the fridge.

"I can just drive grandma's car down to La Push, that way you can follow me down for the funeral and leave from there," I offered, not completely sure that the old car would make it there.

"The timing is a little strange," she nodded. "But I'm sure Emily will be happy to spend some time with you." I just nodded, not sure of that myself. Since she had moved, her life wasn't something she shared much of with us. She had become distant, and her phone calls were mostly about our lives. Except when she called to tell us she was engaged to Sam, which I still couldn't understand. He had dated Leah for years, through most of their high school years. Then suddenly, they had broken up and he was dating Emily. None of it made sense to me, but I wanted my mom to do something that made her happy. So, to La Push I guess I was headed.

—-

The funeral for Harry was quiet, though nearly everyone from the tribe was in attendance. Harry was an elder on the council after all. I kept quietly beside Emily for most of it. We stood behind Leah and Seth who were at their mother's side, but I noticed the herd of ginormous guys watching them closely the entire time. A soft mist began as the ceremony finished, the crowds of people drifting off in different directions.

I followed Emily back to the house she shared with Sam where she was planning on making food to take to Sue tomorrow. I tried to help Sam carry in my bags, but refused and I stared in disbelief as he deftly carried all four of my duffel bags with ease into the house... Something that I had broken a sweat doing in at least two trips myself.

I busied myself cutting the vegetables she pulled out of the fridge, trying to avoid listening in as Sam held a hushed conversation on the phone behind me.

"How has school been going?" Em asked, rubbing my back as she passed behind me toward the fridge.

"It's been fine, they weren't too happy with letting me do my classes down here for a month though," I admitted.

She smiled at me, laying a few items down onto the counter. Seeing her scars again brought back the memories of her laying in her hospital bed, the heavy bandages covering her face and arms. It seemed like as soon as she was discharged from the hospital, she was moving away. None of it had made sense to me at the time, and as close as we had been back then, I felt like she had shut me out of her life. Our weekly phone calls consisted mainly of questions about what was going on in my life and only vague answers about her own. I was shocked that she had offered to have me stay with her and Sam, but if I was being honest with myself, I missed my sister.

I could hear voices outside of the house, and Emily glanced back at Sam. He frowned, ducking out the front door and the voices hushed immediately. Emily turned back, giving me a warm smile as she began assembling a large pan of lasagna. "Sam... works with some of the boys here on the reservation, they usually hang out here," she explained. "They can come off... loud, but I promise that they're very sweet."

"You said he works with the council, is that what he does?" I recalled the detail that she had mentioned months before. She nodded slowly, giving me a warm smile though I could see that it was guarded still.

"Yeah, that's a big part of it," she sighed as Sam reentered the house, a small crew of teenage boys trailing behind him. Small was a word I would use loosely. I vaguely remembered them from the funeral though now two of them were shirtless. And up close, I was fully aware that they stood a foot taller than me at minimum. They crowded around the small kitchen table, laughing to themselves and I noticed the quick nod that Sam gave to Emily before he turned his attention back to them.

"This is Emily's younger sister, Olivia. She'll be staying with us for a few weeks," he told them in his deep timbre, nodding in my direction. I waved awkwardly, hating the feeling of being put on the spot. He gestured with his hand around the table, naming off the guys who all had their eyes on me. "Jared, Embry, and-," he was cut off by one of the guys shouting suddenly.

"Hey, I know you!" he laughed, standing up. I gaped at him for a moment before the association clicked.

"Paul?" I snorted as he strode over, putting his arm around my shoulders. "What happened to you?" I shrugged him off, rolling my eyes. He was far from the scrawny boy I remembered from the summers we spent with Leah.

"Puberty, baby," he grinned proudly, reaching a hand to open the fridge before Emily slapped it away. I grimaced dramatically, stepping away as she scolded him. The other boys watched the scene, their eyes moving to me warily before one changed the subject.

"We can run over the food to Sue when you're done," the one that Sam named as Jared offered to Emily as I slipped out of the kitchen. I had decided to change; cooking in a dress wasn't my brightest idea. Digging through my duffel bags as their muffled voices trailed in from the other room, I found my favorite faded gray sweatshirt and leggings. Sighing, I changed quickly in the quaint guest room. Emily and Sam's house was small—cozy even, but I was thankful for the extra space that my sister had set up for me.

I padded back down the hallway, their conversation becoming clearer as I stepped into the kitchen. "-took off to Italy," a new voice seethed from across the room. I glanced up, noticing the dark figure leaning against the door frame. The conversation stopped again, and my eyes met his, giving him an uncomfortable smile. His eyes widened and I felt a slight blush creep across my cheeks, yet again hating the focus of the room being on me. As I stepped beside Emily, reaching for the knife again I heard someone at the table whisper 'Shit' as another yelled "Jake!".

I glanced back, but the guy in the doorway had vanished and Jared had jumped up from his seat, darting out after him. Sam's eyes were on me and Embry was leaning against the table, staring at his hands. It was Emily who broke the uncomfortable silence, dropping a plate on the table filled with sandwiches. It was like a spell had been broken, and the three surrounding the table descended upon the plate, chattering amongst themselves. Emily acted as if nothing was wrong, giving me instructions for the vegetables I was almost finished with and for the rest of the night, no one mentioned what happened.


	2. Chapter 2

Emily and I had spent most of the next morning talking about home, and she asked a lot of questions about Dad. I didn't have many answers— after he met his new wife six months after our parents separated, he did all he could to pretend like our family didn't exist. I guess it helped that he had knocked her up right away and they eloped. He called on birthdays and holidays, but otherwise we kept our distance.

"Dad isn't the only one who's drifted away," I said quietly, my eyes fixed down to where my fingers were fidgeting with the sleeve of my shirt. I glanced up to where she sat beside me, and as her dark eyes met my own I could see the flash of guilt in them.

"I know... I'm really sorry that we haven't been as close as we used to," she apologized, the left side of her mouth turning down in a small frown. "I... I'll tell you everything soon, okay?"

I didn't say anything, looking at her for a long moment before I nodded. "Promise?" My voice cracked a little, and I internally scolded myself for wanting to cry.

She reached over, holding my hand in hers before she pulled me into a hug. "Promise." We stayed that way for a few seconds before she pulled back, giving me a sad smile. "I've missed you, Livie."

"Missed you too, Em." I had missed her, more than I had admitted to myself.

"Oh! Before I forget..." she said suddenly, jumping up and disappearing up the stairs. She returned just a moment later, holding a small box in her hand. She set it in front of me, trying to hold back her smile as she returned to her chair beside me. I looked at her suspiciously but reached forward lifting the top of the box open.

In the center was a small necklace, a little amethyst gem hanging down delicately. I recognized the shape almost immediately, the slight jagged edges that formed a rough heart. It had belonged to our grandmother. "This was Gigi's," I shook my head, finally looking up at her again.

She nodded, grinning now. "She had asked me to hold it for you, until you were a little older. She knew how much you loved it," she confirmed, and I nodded wordlessly, tracing the outline of the small stone with my finger. I blinked quickly, my vision blurring as I thought of my grandmother.

"I always used to wear it around her house, no matter how many times she scolded me for it," I laughed, the fond memories now producing an ache in my chest. "Thank you, Em."

She reached over, smoothing a hand over my hair. "I have one more thing for you... more like a question really," she said hopefully. "I can't get married without my sister standing next to me."

"Em..." I gasped lightly, unable to hold back my smile.

"I wanted to wait to ask you in person, it didn't seem right to do it over the phone..." she started to explain, but I stopped her, pulling her into another hug.

"Of course, are you kidding?" I giggled and her grin matched my own. "We've talked about this since we were little!"

She nodded happily, and it struck me in that moment how much she reminded me of our mother. Growing up, I was always told that I was a mini-Emily, but now that we were older the differences stood out. We both had the same thick, satin black hair and copper skin that gave away our heritage, but Emily had gone toward bangs and a straight hair cut, and I let mine lay in layers. I had gotten our father's dimples that appeared when I smiled, and her smile was a ghost of our mother. I had inherited blue eyes that my parents were shocked to see, but my grandmother took one look at me and knew— I had her great-grandmother's eyes. I remembered stories she told about her, how my great-great grandmother married into the tribe for a man who would have pulled the moon from the sky for her if only she had asked— and how we shouldn't settle for anything less than this ourselves. I was about two inches shorter than Emily, a fact that I had accepted, though slightly begrudgingly. I was the shortest in my family, and I always insisted that 5'4" wasn't as far off from the family average as they wanted to make it seem.

Emily explained that her best friend Allison from back home and Leah had also said yes, a fact that surprised me— That Leah had said yes and even that Emily had asked, considering the history. "I told Mom that I wanted you to be my maid of honor the day I got engaged, but even she agreed that I should wait to ask you in person," she grinned as we made our way into the kitchen.

She started gathering the things she needed to make breakfast, but this time I stayed out of her way. I leaned against the farthest counter with my hands wrapped around a hot mug of coffee that I had made for myself. She had the screen door to the kitchen propped open, and the steady drizzle of rain outside carried in a soft breeze throughout the small house. I had decided years before that I truly did love the rainy atmosphere of coastal Washington, especially when it carried the familiar scents of pine and saltwater from the surrounding beaches and forests. The occasional days of sunshine felt like a treat, just enough to keep you hopeful, but not so often that you would lose your appreciation of the warmth.

As she began a large skillet of eggs, Emily began giving me details about the wedding—the colors she was leaning towards, the flowers she had envisioned since we were little, and the ways she wanted to keep it personal and intimate. I listened quietly, nursing the coffee as it cooled slowly. Suddenly there were soft footfalls on the porch, and Emily stopped mid-sentence, smiling to herself. Sam appeared first, ducking through the open doorway with another just as tall as him, if not a few inches taller following closely behind. I eyed them suspiciously, my mind perplexed why they would decide to go shirtless in the cold rain before I recognized the other guy as the one from last night. The one who disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

Sam strode over to Emily, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as he kissed her cheek again and again. I looked at the other guy, cringing dramatically at their PDA. He grinned, rolling his eyes in agreement before he chuckled to himself. He hesitated before he reached his hand out toward me, "I'm Jacob, I don't think I introduced myself last night."

I shook his hand, slightly startled at the heat of his hand around my own. I chalked it up to the hot coffee I was holding and brushed it off. "I'm Olivia, Emily's sister" I responded as I had been for the past 24 hours. "Do you guys normally walk around in the cold rain shirtless?" I asked, gesturing to their lack of clothing. They both wore just faded white tennis shoes and cut off shorts.

Sam snorted a laugh and Jacob shrugged, crossing his arms as he leaned against the pole behind him. "Jake and I went for a run this morning," Sam said curtly, shooting a look at Jacob. It was then that I noticed the matching tattoo on their right arms, but this observation I kept to myself.

"Hmm yeah, there's nothing like ice cold rain to motivate me that extra mile," I remarked sarcastically, taking a sip of the coffee before I set it down on the counter beside me. Sam relaxed a little, smiling toward me as Jacob chuckled to himself. I hopped up, perching myself on the wooden counter and Emily shot me a lighthearted disapproving look, but she didn't object.

"Wow, almost eye level," Sam quipped at me with a teasing grin to which I frowned.

"You know, that reminds me of when you were little, and you talked so much. Mom and Dad tried their best to ignore you, but you would stand on chairs because you thought it would help them hear you better," Emily added, scraping the eggs onto a large plate.

"Well... It worked. They paid attention then," I reasoned, shrugging lightly as I leaned back against the cabinet behind me. I ran a hand through my hair before I picked up my coffee again. I glanced up; my eyes meeting Jacob's as other voices began approaching the house- the other boys from last night I assumed. I didn't look away immediately, my heart thudding from the intensity in his dark eyes and the small smile playing at the corner of his lips before he broke the gaze, looking down at his feet. I studied his face, noticing the boy-like softness to his defined jawline. Something about him felt so familiar, but I was sure I had never met him before. I broke my stare, my cheeks tinged pink as the others crowded into the small house with a sudden cacophony of loud voices in multiple conversations. Emily flitted over quickly, dropping down the platter of eggs and a plate with a pile of toast that I hadn't even noticed she had made. Like magic, it went silent.

Emily handed me a small plate with a piece of toast coated with peanut butter, my favorite. I smiled gratefully, taking it from her as she stood next to me. The affection on her face as she watched them eat reminded me of a mother. In a way, Emily had always loved stepping into that role. She was always just as much as second mother to me as she was a sister, and she was the first choice for a babysitter on our rez growing up. I did my fair share too, but Emily thrived on it. She loved it just as much as she loved diving into our native language and culture—something that I had pushed off when my grandmother insisted on teaching us. I regretted it now, but I still understood and could speak a decent amount though I was nowhere near as fluent as Emily proudly was.

I was thankful that no one seemed to notice or take special interest in my presence, instead I felt like I belonged in the chaos.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for supporting the first chapter! I was so excited by the reviews/messages/alerts/favorites. This was another character and relationship building chapter for Olivia and Emily, so its a bit short. I'm planning this to be a slow build, though not too painfully slow. Please let me know your thoughts and I'll see you soon for chapter three!
> 
> PS. In the meantime, I have a inspiration/moodboard tumblr and a public Spotify playlist linked in my bio. The songs in the playlist specifically remind me of the characters or moments in the story or have provided specific inspiration. Feel free to check them out! I'll be added to them as I go along.
> 
> -Riss


	3. Chapter 3

By Monday, I was going stir crazy in Emily’s small-- and usually crowded house. I frequently woke up to the sound of hushed conversations in the kitchen, though when I emerged from my room, they went silent before someone quickly changed the subject. I brought it up to Emily later once the house was quiet again, but she brushed it off like she had no idea what I was talking about. Sam had been especially friendly with me last night, and I had admitted to myself that he was a good guy. I still didn’t fully understand everything that had happened, but I liked the way he treated my sister and how happy he made her. 

This thought naturally brought me to Leah, and I felt guilty that I hadn’t checked up on her. Seth had popped in the day before, though he left with Sam quickly after and seemed lost in his thoughts which was such a drastic change from the normally bubbly-sunshine boy I was used to seeing. I couldn’t imagine losing a parent so suddenly though. 

As I lay in bed, staring at the overcast skies outside of the small window, I knew I needed to get out of the house. It was spring break for the next week, so I didn’t have school as an excuse to leave. The house was quiet, I guessed that Emily had left for the store. I had never met anyone who cooked as much as she did, but I had also witnessed how much the boys that hung around ate. Pulling on my leggings and boots before heading for the door, I was thankful that the sun was peaking between the heavy clouds as it rose in the morning sky. As I started down the dirt path from Emily’s house, I appreciated the way that La Push felt tucked away safely in the thick woods that lined the coast. 

Just as I was beginning to question my memory of the backroads here, I found the little path leading to the Clearwater's’. Two cars were parked to the side, and I could still see Paul’s house just beyond the thin wall of trees behind the house just as I remembered from my summer visits. 

I thought back to the memories of being stuck watching Seth, Paul, and a few of Seth’s friends playing football on the days that Emily and Leah escaped to Forks or Port Angeles and left me behind. Technically I was closer to Seth’s age than them, but I was always bitter when I was left with the boys. I tried hard to seem uninterested, but I would only admit to myself that they were entertaining to watch, and I often was the designated referee when disputes came up. If it was raining too hard for the boys to play outside, everyone would pile into the Clearwater’s living room to watch whatever cartoon or sports game was on tv. Though as we got older, each of the boys drifted off into their own groups of friends and I began spending more time with Emily and Leah. 

Climbing the stairs to the front door of the Clearwater's, I knocked on the door softly. A moment later, the door opened to Leah standing in front of me. The dark circles under her eyes were startling, though it made sense. “Liv,” she greeted with a relieved sigh, a soft smile appearing on her tired expression. She pulled me into a tight hug, and it wasn’t until she pulled back that I realized she had cut off her hair to her chin. She disappeared immediately following the funeral, and I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her. 

“How are you doing?” I asked. 

She shook her head, looking down to the ground for a moment before she met my eyes again. “I don’t know, honestly. Things went from totally normal to... everything’s different,” she said, her eyes shiny with tears that she blinked away quickly. “Mom is going to be glad to see you. The house has been quiet, almost too quiet,” she mentioned as I followed her inside. 

We found Sue sitting at the dining table, sorting through a pile of papers. She gave me a warm smile as she looked up, though the stress was almost visible in her body. I walked over quickly, leaning down to give her a hug before I took the seat next to her. “Are you doing okay?” I asked her, and she laid her hand on my arm, her lips pressed into a sad smile. 

“As okay as I can be. I’m thankful I’ve been supported by such a wonderful community and family,” she gave a look to Leah, who leaned against the doorway to the small kitchen. Leah shrugged lightly, her eyes fixing on something out the window. “How are you? How is your mom?” Sue turned back to me, stuffing the papers back into an envelope. 

“I’m okay, my mom is currently in Seattle for a job training for a few weeks,” I told her, helping her sort the papers back into their envelopes. 

Sue hummed in thought, nodding a little as she sat back in the chair. “I remember Emily mentioning that the other day, everything has been a blur...” she trailed off as Leah sat across from her. Sue rubbed a hand on her tired face, fighting back a yawn. 

“You should get some rest, Mom,” Leah’s voice came quietly. She ran her fingers through her hair, her hand pausing where the ends of her hair fell out of her fingers. She frowned; her eyes lost in thought for a moment before she came back to reality. 

Sue nodded in quiet agreement, wrapping her sweater tighter around her body. “I could probably try to take a nap. I do need to do the dishes and clean up the house...” she started but Leah cut her off. 

“We’ll take care of it,” she offered, looking to me and I gave a soft smile to show my support of the idea. Sue slowly got up, placing her tea mug in the sink before she made her way down the hallway. Leah waited until she heard the bedroom door shut before she spoke again. “She’s had a hard time sleeping since Dad... Especially in their room. She was up until 3am last night, and I found her asleep on the couch early this morning.” 

“How has Seth been?” I realized that he hadn’t made an appearance, and he had disappeared after the funeral just like Leah had. 

Leah pushed herself away from the table, standing up. “He’s been fine. He’s adjusting better than we are, but he’s Seth. You know how he is.” 

I didn’t say anything, but I knew exactly what she meant. Seth took everything in stride. “Is he here?” I followed her to the sink, grabbing a towel to dry the dishes she began to scrub clean. 

She shook her head, and I noticed her eyes dart to me for a brief half second. “No, uh... He took off early this morning and hasn’t come back. Probably at a friend’s or something,” she shrugged, her eyes now fixed on her hands as she finished a glass casserole dish. “This is Emily’s if you want to take this back later,” Leah mentioned as she handed it to me. “I swear trying to figure out who all of these dishes belong to give them back is going to be a pain in my ass.” We both laughed lightly, and she launched into questions about my life. I hated the topic, but I knew she’d rather talk about something other than her own life at the moment, so I played along-- How my friends were, if I had been seeing any guys from school, if I was thinking about getting a job, how my parents were. 

We talked as we tidied the small house, and within an hour all the dishes had been put away, the mail had been sorted, and all the blankets folded in a basket by the couch. Leah stood beside me, draping her arm around my shoulders. Through the fabric of my hoodie, I could feel the heat of her arm. ‘I’m always cold,’ I reasoned with myself, a fact that I had accepted about myself. It could be the hottest part of summer, and I’d still complain of having cold hands. 

“Do you want to get out of here? I think Mom could use some time alone,” she suggested. I agreed, thankful that she didn’t want to sit around inside today either. As we left the house, I followed her down the small dirt path behind her house into the thin patch of forest leading toward the beach. Taking a deep breath, I could nearly taste the salty air the closer we got. It was a familiar scent, something that made me feel like I was back in Neah Bay. 

Just as we were about to break through the tree line onto the beach, Leah’s head turned to her right. “Found where my brother went,” I heard Leah say under her breath, more for herself than to me. I quickly glanced around, confused what she meant as we started down the beach. Less than a minute later, two figures sitting on two pieces of driftwood came into view. 

Leah called out something that I recognized as their tribal language, though I wasn’t quite sure what it was. They turned to look in our direction, and I was surprised that they could hear us this far away. We continued down the beach, and as we closed the distance, the one that I recognized as Seth stood up and jogged over. 

His smile contagious as he stopped in front of me, pulling me into a tight hug that lifted me a few inches off of the ground. I shrieked, hugging him back before demanding that he place me safely back onto the ground. “Jesus, Seth. You’re tall as shit too,” I gestured to his frame towering over me. 

He shrugged, draping his arm over my shoulders. Leah hadn’t stopped walking when I did and was now sitting beside the other person a few feet away from us. The one I recognized as one of Sam’s friends, Jacob. “Good genes, I guess,” Seth brushed it off, grinning. 

“Yeah well clearly those genes didn’t reach my side of the family. What are you now, like 5’10”?” I teased, just as serious as I was joking. 

“Close, 5’11” last time I checked,” he said proudly, standing up straighter to prove his point. I rolled my eyes, sitting down next to him on the white driftwood. I glanced up, giving Jacob a quick smile as Leah went on with her story. It took one question about school to launch Seth into an in-depth life recap about school, his friends, and his latest video game quest. I took note that he was careful to not mention his father after Leah visibly cringed the first time. 

While Seth chattered away, Leah interjected with her own light-hearted jabs. She had so much affection for her younger brother, but she wouldn’t often admit it. She used to joke with Emily that she was jealous she wasn’t the one who had a younger sister. But Seth was too gentle, too happy to not love to have around. 

As I listened to Seth, I glanced over at Jacob, feeling his eyes on me. He immediately looked down at the ground, his foot tapping against a small rock. His expression was hard to read, but there was a crease between his eyebrows like he was deep in thought. 

It wasn’t until Seth nudged my arm with his shoulder that I realized he had been talking to me. “So are you still seeing that Nick guy?” Seth asked and I sighed, shaking my head. 

“No, Seth. That’s been done for months,” I rolled my eyes, noticing that Jacob’s attention was back on us. 

“I told you that weeks ago, genius,” Leah groaned, throwing a stick at her brother which he deftly dodged. 

“Oh... right, you did,” Seth shrugged it off, following it up with all of the questions Leah had asked me earlier. She turned to Jacob, mentioning something to him as Seth listened intently to my stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!   
> This was another relationship-building chapter, but the next will give us some Olivia/Jake time that I've been so excited to get into. I'm working on getting this into a regular writing/uploading schedule, so hopefully by later this week/next week we will be good to go!


	4. Chapter 4

Emily taught classes a few days a week at the local community college, so I wandered out of the house to watch soap operas with Leah. "Watch" being used loosely. We chatted and occasionally made fun of the drama of the shows, both unwilling to admit that we were sucked into the happenings of the fictional characters. Today was Sue's first day back at work, just shy of the week anniversary of Harry's passing. Leah had tried to convince her to take a few more days through the weekend, but Sue was insistent that she needed to get back to reality; that it would help her more than staying in the house would. Leah didn't press the issue anymore, and I knew that Sue was probably right.

It was just before 4pm when we heard Sue's car pull in beside the house. Her face was drawn and tired, the dark circles under her eyes giving her away as she trudged through the door. After hanging up her jacket, she stopped to look at Seth's backpack lying by her feet.

"Is your brother home?" she asked, coming over to kiss the top of Leah's head and rub my shoulder before she walked into the kitchen.

"No, he didn't say anything when he dropped off his backpack. He just took off again," Leah shrugged, fidgeting with the remote in her hand. She had seemed on edge today, but didn't seem to want to talk about it. I had tried asking about one of her friends she used to be close with, but she brushed it off and said that they hadn't spoken in a long time. I dropped the subject, not wanting to press her on it anymore. Leah had always been someone that I confided in and vice versa, especially after her break up with Sam, but right now she felt far away. Though, I had never lost a parent, and I couldn't fully understand it as hard as I would want to try.

"Do you know where he might be?" Sue asked from the kitchen, her voice rising above the sound of the faucet.

Leah sighed, crossing her arms in front of her. "No, but I have a few ideas," she called back.

Sue appeared in the doorway, wiping her hands on a towel. "Would you find finding him? He needs to get his schoolwork done, he knows this," she asked, giving Leah a pointed look.

Leah nodded, pursing her lips before she responded. "Sure, no problem." Sue smiled gratefully before disappearing back into the kitchen.

"Want to take a walk?" Leah asked as she stood up. I followed suit, slipping on my shoes.

"Do you really know where he is?" I asked as we made our way off of the porch. The rain had stopped about a half hour before, but a heavy fog hung low over the trees surrounding the house. I pulled on my jacket, my fingers already cold in the evening air though Leah hadn't so much as glanced at the coat rack when we left the house.

She shrugged, trudging up the gravel path to the main road. "I've got my suspicions."

We didn't say much as we made our way down the road, and after a few minutes, Leah seemed to head in a definite direction. As a small red house came into view, I heard Leah mutter beside me, "I knew it." Instead of following the path to the front door, she turned to trudge through the wet grass leading behind the house. "He follows Jake around like a puppy," she snorted, rolling her eyes. I quickened my pace to keep up with her, nearly jogging. My shorter legs were not as efficient in covering as much ground as hers now that she towered over me by at least 6 inches.

As I caught up, she stopped in the doorway of a small garage- more so a few sheds bolted together to form a garage. Seth turned around, sighing heavily when he realized it was his sister as he pushed up the sleeves of his sweatshirt.

He opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Leah interrupted him. "Mom wants you to go do your homework. I'm just passing along the message."

He nearly pouted, glancing over at Jacob who was fighting off an amused grin. "I'll do it later! I was going to-" he stopped, glancing at me.

Jacob stepped forward, patting Seth on the shoulder. "What Sue says goes, we can go later," he told Seth; he and Leah sharing a glance. Seth didn't argue again, instead stalking off. I reached up as he passed me, messing with his hair which earned a grin on his as he walked off.

Leah walked into the small garage, leaning against the side of the small red car filling most of the garage. Jacob shot her an annoyed look from the stool he sat on, wiping his hands on a black-stained rag draped over the open engine. I stood awkwardly in the doorway, biting my lip before I moved to stand by Leah. "I'll give it to him, he tries his hardest to get out of doing his work," she said dismissively, picking at her nails.

"He'd have Sue and Sam on his back if he did that," Jacob retorted and Leah snorted to herself, pursing her lips together.

Suddenly, both Leah and Jacob's heads snapped to the door before they shared a concerned look between them. I'm missing something, I thought just as Leah spoke up.

"I'll.. uh, I'll be right back," she said, tossing up a finger before darting away just as Jacob started to stand up from the stool by his car.

He grimaced, shaking his head to himself as he muttered to himself, "Dammit."

I stared at the door for a long moment, just as confused as I was annoyed with my cousin. She had been acting weird all day, and this was the height of it.

I stood up, giving him an apologetic shrug as I turned to walk out of the shed. "I don't want to bother you. I can go, I'm sure I can figure out my way back to Em's from here," I brushed it off, already planning on giving Leah an earful for ditching me out of nowhere.

"You're not! Bothering me... I mean," I heard him say behind me and I stopped, looking back to where he stood with his hands in his pockets. "You don't have leave. I don't mind, and she should be back soon," he continued, a small unsure smile playing on the corners of his lips.

I nodded, biting back my own smile as I stepped back into the garage. "Alright," I agreed, gesturing toward the car with the hood still open. "What are you working on?"

This question seemed to put him at ease, the tension in his shoulders dropping as he looked over to his project. "It's an '86 Rabbit. I rebuilt it myself," he admitted proudly. "Before I bore you with details, what do you know about cars?" he asked, raising a dark eyebrow in my direction.

I snorted, smiling sheepishly as I shrugged. "I know how to put gas in my car and I can put on new wipers," I said proudly though clearly I knew absolutely nothing.

"That's a great start, honestly," he joked back, and I decided then that I liked the way he smiled. Something about it felt safe.

"Tell me everything. Even if I have no idea what you're talking about, I'll listen," I said sincerely, sitting on the swivel stool next to the car. Crossing my legs, I placed my chin on my hand as I looked at him expectantly. He eyed me warily before shrugging, launching into a detailed explanation of the rebuild process.

I was right, I was lost in a sea of car parts within seconds. But watching how focused he became and the excited way he talked about this hobby was enough to keep me interested. I loved watching people get lost in the things they loved, it was rare. The tense expression he had worn every time I had been around him melted away as he rambled on, appearing younger as his smile reached his eyes.

Sometime later, once I had heard every possible detail about the red car, he leaned against the work bench that lined the wall on the other side of the garage.

"So Seth hangs out here a lot?" I asked, changing the subject. I ran my fingers through my hair, sorting through the layers that had begun to wave slightly in the damp air.

He crossed his arms, nodding as his eyes studied me. "Sometimes. We grew up together because our dads were friends. More so in the last few days. I think he likes the distraction," he admitted, shrugging slightly.

"I'm glad you've been there for him. Seth has always been a ball of happy energy. It's hard to tell when something is bothering him, he doesn't show it." I smiled sadly, feeling helpless in this situation.

"I kind of get it— what it's like to lose a parent, I mean. My mom died when I was 9. Car accident," he confided, looking out to the yard where rain had begun falling lightly. "It was just as sudden as Harry. It's tough, but I think I had it somewhat easier because I was younger."

"I'm sorry about your mom," I frowned, but he shook his head, brushing it off.

"I think he's dealing with it better than Leah is," I admitted. "She's a shell of the Leah I've known my entire life. It's like this compounded the pain she was dealing with after Sam and now...," I trailed off and he nodded in agreement.

"She's got you though, so she's not totally alone. And Emily," Jacob added, the last part hanging almost like a question. I huffed, making a face that made him raise his eyebrows though he didn't push me on it.

"You said your dad was close with Harry?" I mentioned.

"Yeah they were on the council together. I guess Sue takes his place now. It'll be my dad, Sue, Old Quil, and Sam," he explained, reaching back to grab an opened water bottle and taking a quick drink.

"Sam? I didn't know he was part of the council. Em only said he was working with the council and kids on the res..." I trailed off. It had always seemed that Emily was only telling us part of the story, and this was just another on the list.

He hesitated, like he had said too much. "Ah... yeah, that's technically true." His jaw flexed under his russet skin as he tensed his jaw before looking out of the garage again. This time seconds before Leah jogged in, shaking her bare arms from the raindrops.

"Hey! Sorry, I'm back," she smiled at me, darting a quick look in his direction. "All's good," she shrugged, but he didn't look convinced, his brow furrowed. "I think my mom is making dinner if you want to join us," Leah said to me. I glanced at the small clock on the work bench before shrugging an agreement. I stood to join her in the door as Leah stared at Jacob expectantly. "You too, loser. My mom said Charlie is dropping Billy off at our place for dinner."

He glared at her for a long moment before shaking his head, pushing himself away. Leah turned, walking out of the garage as he strode over to us. His eyes met mine and he grinned, rolling his eyes at her attitude. I returned the smile before turning to catch up with my cousin. If I let her get too far ahead, I would never catch up. Though as I trotted to catch up, falling in step with Leah again, I could feel his eyes on me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm hoping to keep this regular schedule of uploading on Wednesdays/Thursdays. I'm excited to finally start writing the Jacob/Olivia interactions, and to see where this story takes us. I have tons of little moments already written down, though they vary in time along the plot line. Have a great weekend and Happy Valentine's Day!


	5. Chapter 5

Walking back into the Clearwater house, I immediately jumped into helping Sue. Seth had his homework spread across the coffee table in the living room tapping his pencil impatiently as Jacob and Leah sat by him. Their conversation carried on until it suddenly became hushed whispers, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Sue didn't seem to notice or wasn't making it known if she did.

The idea occurred to me that it seemed like everyone around me was in on a secret I couldn't know. How Leah darted off earlier with no explanation, how the hushed voices in Emily's kitchen always stopped when I came out of my room, how the looks between people around me seemed to communicate things they couldn't say out loud.

Even though I was surrounded by family who I loved dearly, these moments made me miss my best friend from home. I had spent over an hour on the phone with Jen the next before, and she promised she would try to drive down to visit me soon. She and I had been best friends since 5th grade, nearly inseparable through middle school thanks to the fact that our houses were a block away from each other. We often spent evenings after school at each other's houses, and she was the one to sit with me for hours in the waiting room after Emily's accident. She never missed a chance to tease me for the crush I had on her older brother years back, though I jabbed back with her many bizarre crushes she had of her own.

As Sue finished the food, she handed me a plate and nodded toward the stove. "Go ahead and grab what you want now. Once they descend on it, there won't be anything left," she joked, giving me a warm smile as she patted my arm. I noticed that she had already made two plates herself, one that she placed in the microwave before sitting down at the table.

Leah appeared next to me, tapping her nails against her plate while she waited. "Thanks for making dinner, mom," she noted, and I realized just how much she looked like her mother as she looked down at Sue.

Sue brushed off the thanks with a smile and wave, waiting to eat until we had all taken our seats. As Leah sat next to me, I noticed that she had taken twice as much food as I had which didn't compare to the two heaping plates that Seth and Jacob both sat down with. Though before he sat down, Jacob moved the last chair at the end of the table to the wall. This I didn't understand for a few minutes until we heard the sound of a car door shut, and seconds later, the front door opened as Sam pulled an older man with long, sleek black hair in a wheelchair over the edge of the door frame.

Sam offered a quick greeting to Sue and the four of us, explaining that he had to pick up Emily before dipping back out the front door, the sound of his truck disappearing back down the driveway. Beside me, Leah stared at her plate until he was gone. Jacob got back up, retrieving the plate from the microwave as Seth beamed at the newcomer. "Hey Billy!" he said brightly, the first thing he had said since he began eating. In fact, I was sure that the only time Seth wasn't chatting was when he was eating.

"Here, Dad," Jacob said to the older man, who I realized was his father he had mentioned earlier. He laid the plate down as Billy pulled himself up to the open spot at the table that he had made a few minutes earlier.

Billy thanked his son, his eyes moving to where I sat beside him. He extended his hand, studying me with a polite smile. "I don't think I've had the chance to meet you yet, I'm Billy," he introduced himself, and I returned the smile as I shook his hand.

"Olivia," I offered, and he nodded slightly.

"I've heard a little about you. Sam mentioned you were staying with them for a few weeks," Billy mentioned as he laid his napkin across his lap. As he said this, Jacob's hand tensed into a fist, his eyes glued to the table.

"Yeah, my mom is in Seattle for work training right now," I explained, reaching for my water glass.

The table was quiet for a moment before Billy cleared his throat, looking across the table to Sue. "I talked to Charlie earlier." As he said this, Jacob's head snapped up, his full attention now on his father who seemed to anticipate this reaction but keep his focus toward Sue. "He said Bella arrived home on Tuesday."

"Is she-" Jacob started, his voice reflecting the pained expression he wore as he interrupted his father. Billy shook his head, cutting him off again.

"She's fine, but Charlie is furious. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry. He came back with her," he explained, giving a pointed look to his son.

"Are they all back?" Seth spoke up quietly, his eyes moving from Billy to Jacob whose hands were shaking as he rubbed them on his jeans.

Billy shrugged, eyeing his son carefully. "I assume that's the case, but I don't know for sure yet."

Sue sat up straighter in her seat, clearing her through to break the uncomfortable silence that fell over the table. "You know someone at the hospital mentioned seeing the doctor in the office today," she mentioned, reaching for her glass.

Taking the chance to change the subject, Billy asked, "How was your first day back?"

As she answered, I noticed that Leah had been dead silent, barely moving in her seat as she stared at her plate. Glancing up, I made eye contact with Jacob for a long moment. Suddenly, he pushed himself back from the table with a start, storming out of the kitchen. The sound of the front door slamming shut followed seconds later.

Billy and Sue carried most of the conversation through the rest of the meal, and Seth disappeared back into his bedroom to finish his homework as soon as he finished eating. Jacob had yet to return, though Leah left his plate untouched as she cleared the table.

"What was all of that about?" I asked, reaching for the small stack of plates she was holding.

She frowned, shaking her head as she glanced back to where Sue was helping Billy back into his jacket about to drive him home. "Bella is... it's hard to explain," she started, pausing as Billy wheeled back into the kitchen.

Reaching for my hand as I wiped it dry with the towel, his aged face softening into a kind smile. "It was good to meet you, Olivia," he said warmly, holding my hand in both of his.

As Sue pushed him out of the house, Leah continued. "So Bella is Jake's friend. They got really close over the last few months after her boyfriend dumped her and skipped town. No one here likes him or his family, they've... made life more complicated for a lot of us," she explained, her dark eyes sad as she read my expression. "I have my own feelings about Bella. Jake did a lot for her, but she..." she trailed off, shrugging slightly. "Now, I don't know what's going to happen."

A few minutes after we finished cleaning up the kitchen, I had pulled on my shoes and was reaching for my jacket as Jacob reemerged into the house. His dark shirt was spotted with rain drops and his short, inky black hair was damp and twisted in various directions, likely from the drizzle that had stopped just a few minutes before. His eyes fell on me first, hesitating before he stepped past me to Leah. "Sorry about earlier," I heard him mumble to her. "Just needed a few minutes."

"Are you going to call her?" she asked him, and I deduced that she was asking about the girl, Bella, who had gotten to him earlier.

I looked down, suddenly feeling intrusive as I stood waiting. "No," he started, his response clipped. "I don't know. Maybe."

Leah didn't say anything to push the topic further, nodding wordlessly as she gave him a small, sympathetic smile. "My mom took Billy home a little bit ago," she told him. "I was just about to walk Liv back to Emily's since its dark out."

Jacob glanced back to me, shrugging, "I'm already headed that way, I can walk her back. You should get some rest, Leah. You look like hell."

She scoffed, rolling her eyes but she didn't offer any arguments. She did look rough, like she hadn't been sleeping much. Her dark eyes were circled by bruise-like circles which furthered that theory. "You already know I have to-" she started, but he cut her off.

"Get some rest. I'll talk to him," he told her, almost like an order in the way his tone changed. Not forceful, just—definite? She nodded, giving me a small smile as I reached for the door, pulling it open. I assumed that because she wasn't putting up any arguments for him walking me home alone, she trusted him.

Jacob appeared behind me, holding the door open for me as I stepped into the cool evening air. The door shut soundly as he followed, the porch creaking only slightly under his silent footfalls. As we started down the gravel driveway, I glanced up at him. "Is it really on your way?" I asked, thinking back to the direction we walked in earlier to get to his house.

Shrugging as he pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, he looked down at me with soft eyes. "I don't mind."


	6. Chapter 6

We walked to the end of the driveway in silence. As we turned onto the main road, he swapped sides, putting me closer to the tree line than the occasional cars that would drive past us. I considered my estimate that we were walking in the opposite direction of his house that sat on the outer edge of La Push closest to the beach, though he insisted that he didn't mind going out of his way.

I heard him clear his throat, finally speaking up again. "I, uh... I want to apologize for storming out like that earlier. I just needed a minute to clear my mind, and-" he started to explain, his eyes meeting mine as I looked up at him before darting back to the dim night settling over the road in front of us.

"You don't owe me an explanation and you don't have to apologize," I tried to reassure him as I interrupted, shaking my head in mild confusion. He really didn't owe me anything.

He sighed, pulling his hand from his pocket to brush over his short hair before it fell to his side. "I know, but I want to anyway. It's hard to explain, but..." he trailed off, shrugging.

There was a long beat of silence between us before I vented out my frustration. "Hard to explain seems like the perfect way to describe this last week. I feel like everything is a puzzle around me and I'm missing half of the pieces. Some things have just been so weird. I'm probably imagining this, and I'm just crazy." I took a deep breath as I finished, not sure if I was expecting him to respond to this, but glad that I had finally gotten it off of my chest to someone. Even if that someone was a boy I barely knew.

He tightened his hands into fists, the muscles in his forearms tensing as he huffed out a short, ironic laugh. "You're not crazy," he said quietly and I looked back up at him. His steps slowed and Jacob looked like he was considering something, biting on his lip before he continued. "There is a lot that you don't know. Life has been... complicated here lately, but if I explain it, it becomes your problem too. And I can't do that. I don't want to dump it all on you."

"Well, if you ever need to talk, I'm pretty good at listening," I offered, glancing up to meet his gaze with a small smile. "Everyone always treats me like the baby in the family even though I'm older than Seth, but I'm pretty touch, you know," I said playfully, pretending to flex however unconvincingly. He chuckled, shaking his head as his smile matched my own.

"You could absolutely kick my ass. I'm terrified," he grinned, winking as I noticed the tension in his body had faded some. Considering I was sure he could bench at least twice my own weight, I appreciated that he played along.

"Damn right," I giggled. "Maybe I should consider a future in ass-kicking. I definitely think people would be intimidated by my height and lack of any physical strength."

"Sure, sure, tiny. You're the poster child of intimidation," he laughed, and something about the way he said the nickname felt more endearing than it did light-hearted teasing.

"Hey, you never know. I could have a black belt," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest in mock defiance.

"Do you have a black belt?"

I shot him a side-eyed glance, pouting slightly. "No."

He smirked, but didn't say anything as we turned down the dirt path that led to the house that my sister and Sam shared.

"Thanks for walking me home, Jacob," I said, turning to face him as we stopped just a few yards from the porch steps. His eyes swept over my face in a way that made me suddenly self-conscious like he was reading all of my secrets, my cheeks turning pink. Shoving his hands back into his pockets, his gaze moved past me to the tree-line beyond the house though it was too dark to see anything by now.

"Jake, my friends call me Jake," he smiled softly as he looked back down at me.

"Are we friends?" I asked, my body warming like a late-spring morning sun had just risen over it.

He shrugged, raising an eyebrow in my direction. "We could be."

I nodded, fighting off my own grin. "Then you can call me Liv."

"Liv," he repeated with his voice barely above a whisper. "Have a good night, Liv," he smiled again, winking at me before he turned back to the road we just came from. I watched him disappear into the darkness for a moment, not noticing I was biting my lip in thought until I returned to the moment. 'Jake.' my only thought echoed in my mind as I climbed the steps and walked into the quiet house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note:
> 
> This is a shorter chapter, more so just a continuation of chapter 5. This played out beautifully, and sets me up to dive Olivia into the world she has no idea that she's in the middle of. Thanks for reading, and I'll see you soon (with a much longer chapter next time, I promise).


	7. Chapter 7

I awoke to the sounds of Emily starting breakfast in the kitchen; the scent of coffee and eggs drifting under the door of my room instantly triggering my memories of her waking up early some mornings before school to make me breakfast. I smiled as I pulled my blanket up closer to my face, my eyes watering as I yawned. If just for a moment life felt normal again as it had for most of my childhood until my sister moved away.

Before I could drift back to sleep again and miss my chance at breakfast before Sam's crew of ravenous teenagers descended on the dining table, I drug myself from the cozy quilt and pillow haven. Pulling my hair into a messy knot, I made my way into the kitchen where my sister was hard at work.

"Morning, Livie," she gave me a bright grin, her hands busy scraping scrambled eggs around a large skillet. I patted her shoulder as I passed, pulling open the fridge to search for the orange juice. "We didn't get back until later last night, but you were already asleep by the time we got back."

I nodded quietly, leaning against the counter beside her as I ran my fingers through my messy hair. "I tried to stay awake, but I think I was out the second my head hit the pillow," I laughed lightly, my voice still hoarse from sleep. I cleared my throat, taking a sip of the juice.

"How was dinner at the Clearwater's?" she asked, pushing the large pile of eggs onto a serving plate before placing the skillet into the sink. "Did Leah walk back with you? I've been meaning to call her... I have a few things to ask her."

I shrugged, biting on my lower lip as I thought back to the day before. "It was fine, mostly quiet. And uh, no. Jacob walked me back, Leah looked rough and he offered to walk with me home so she could sleep," I admitted, a tiny smile appearing on my face as I said his name.

Emily looked over her shoulder at me, her eyebrow raised just slightly enough for me to take notice. "Jacob, huh?" She said this, not searching for a response from me, but more like she had uncovered an intriguing bit of gossip. As she turned back to her task, I saw the smirk that grew immediately.

Making myself toast, I sat down at the table and listened as Emily recounted her day teaching and the wedding planning ideas she had been brainstorming. At some point, my mind faded from the current moment and I began thinking about going back to school tomorrow. I had spent much of my spring break doing absolutely nothing, and if I was being honest, I did none of my required readings they had assigned. Not that it mattered much, I was starting at the school down here for just a few weeks so I wouldn't be behind when I was able to go back to Neah Bay. I couldn't think of anything more awkward than starting at a new school just to leave 3 weeks later, but my mother had insisted on this plan over doing my work on my own.

My mother, I sighed as I thought of her. I had only called her once, and I felt a pang of guilt as I realized this. I made a mental note to call her this evening. She seemed happy, she had excitedly given me a full run down of her first week of training and recapped all the people she had the chance to network with. I was happy for her, she deserved to feel excited about something after all she had gone through. I knew she felt trapped in Neah Bay but refused to admit it because that's where my roots were. She wouldn't think of asking me to uproot, and I was constantly aware of the guilt that lived in me because of this.

Once I finished my breakfast, I slipped away to the bathroom to make myself become even slightly more presentable. Just in time, I thought as I heard Sam's voice along with a second one enter the house. As nice as everyone had been, I still felt very out of place and out of the loop when they congregated in the kitchen. When they started to filter in, I'd curl up on the couch fixated on any interesting show I could find or I'd slip to my room for a long nap.

As I went through the steps of my morning routine with almost robotic muscle memory—cleansing, medicated cream, moisturizer before moving on to brushing my teeth, I could hear the muffled voices through the door.

"He still hasn't said anything?" I hear Sam's deep voice ask, and a quiet pause followed. "I'm surprised he's held out this long."

Someone responded, but I couldn't make out what they had said, and I gave up, resigning myself to the permanent confusion I felt here. I reminded myself that it wasn't my business, and I didn't always have to have the answers to things. As I emerged from the bathroom, the conversation immediately stopped. I ignored this though, shutting myself into the bedroom to change from my pajamas.

By the time I made my way back into the kitchen, Sam and the other visitor had disappeared, and Emily was still working away cleaning her kitchen as if nothing had happened. I didn't ask, I didn't think I really wanted any answers. Not that I would have gotten any.

Remembering that I had left my backpack in the trunk of my car, I slipped into my shoes to retrieve it. As I pulled the trunk lid down, my backpack draped over my shoulder, I heard a pair of voices behind me. Glancing back, I saw Paul and Jake walking toward the house from the road. I made quick eye contact with Jake, who smiled before I heard Paul say, "So you're still here. They haven't kicked you out yet?"

If it wasn't for his teasing grin and playful tone, I wouldn't have thought he was kidding. "The real mystery is why they let you in the house at all, Paul." Raising an eyebrow at his wink before he walked off into the house, chuckling to himself. Jake stopped, not following his friend inside, his eyes on my car instead.

"Is this yours?" he asked, crossing his arms as he glanced around at the slight rust forming around the wheel wells. I nodded in response, to which he questioned, "You still walk everywhere even though you have a car?"

I knew he was referring to last night, and the fact that I could have easily just driven to Leah's in the first place. "I like walking," I crossed my arms, mimicking his posture as he studied me, his expression unconvinced. "I do like walking. But she's old, and she runs kinda rough. I don't drive her much unless I absolutely have to."

"She?" I could see that he was fighting back a smirk, amused at my given pronouns for my car.

"Yes, she. She was my grandmother's car and she had named her Lisa. She's as old as I am, so I can't change that tradition now," I explained, leaning against the trunk as his smirk grew to a full grin.

"Lisa is a good name," he agreed. "I could check it out for you later, if you'd want. I've got some free time this afternoon," he offered, his hands dropping to his sides.

I fought the urge to decline, my nature never wanting people to go out of their way for me. But if I was being honest with myself, I liked the idea of spending time with him. So, I accepted his offer before we both walked back into the house.

Paul was at the table nearly shoveling food into his mouth faster than he could swallow and take a breath. Rolling my eyes, I walked past him to perch myself in my favorite corner of the couch with my gray throw blanket. I could hear Paul trying to talk with his mouth full of eggs, Emily scolding him for manners, but I began flipping through the channels. Jake stood, working on his own plate of food, though more civilly than Paul had been as Emily asked how Billy had been doing. As Jake answered, Paul pushed himself away from the table with his empty plate in hand.

Moments later, just as I had settled on reruns of Law & Order, Paul flopped down onto the couch next to me. His hand extended, reaching for the remote lying on the coffee table with one of Emily's blueberry muffins in his other hand. As he sat back, I held my hand out. My expression dry and unamused as I threatened him, "If you change the channel, I'll make sure you never have children, Paul Lahote."

I heard a snort and Emily's giggle from the kitchen, Paul grumbling beside me as he slapped the remote back into my open hand. As Paul began eating his muffin silently, I glanced to where Jake stood in the kitchen. I shrugged, earning an amused grin from him. Paul disgruntled attitude faded as quickly as it came on, and we began discussing the episode in ridiculous detail.

After spending most of the late morning and early afternoon trying to make up for lost time in my backlogged homework, I finally made my way over to Jake's. As my old car rounded the turn onto his road, finding the dirt path behind the house I saw him pop his head out from behind the makeshift garage. I parked it just outside, feeling my own smile match his as he leaned his shoulder against the garage.

"She definitely does sound a little rough," he noted as I stepped out of the car to which I sheepishly winced, nodding in agreement. "When was the last time you had the oil changed?"

"You know, about that..." I trailed off, shrugging as he shook his head in disapproval. "I don't think it's been changed since the car became mine. I just got my license a few weeks ago, but I started learning how to drive in it like a year ago."

"A year? Liv, you shouldn't let it go that long," he scolded, but his tone was gentle like it was more out of concern. I bit my lip, fighting off a smile at his use of my nickname.

"Yeah, yeah. That's probably true," I conceded. "So, the deal is, I can let you look but you can't mess with it. I won't have money to fix it until I get a job this summer."

He raised an eyebrow at me, smirking. "That's funny, you think I'd make you pay for my services? Consider it a favor for a friend."

He pushed off of the wall before striding over to where I stood beside the car. Holding his hand out for the keys, he winked down at me. I stepped back to allow him to pull the car into the garage. I had to admit to myself that it was amusing to watch him fold his much taller frame into my car, though he never moved my seat from where I had it set.

"I knew you were tiny, but Jesus, you really are short," he complained as he peeled himself from my car. Stretching his legs as he stood back up, he tossed the keys back to me before popping the hood open. I followed him into the garage, perching myself on the stool that sat a few feet away.

"And yet, my legs function just as well as your monstrous ones. They only seem tiny because you're the size of a tree," I teased back, crossing my arms defiantly in front of my torso. He snorted as he leaned over the engine, glancing over at me with a grin.

"Sure, sure." I watched as he began unscrewing pieces of metal and plastic, laying them out carefully along the workbench. "So you and Paul are friends?"

I shrugged slightly at his question, his eyes watching me carefully. "Not so much anymore. I haven't really talked to him in years. We've known each other for a long time, he lives right behind Seth and Leah."

He considered this, nodding quietly as he worked. I cringed as I remembered the last summer we had hung out with Paul, the conversations between the boys changing from fart jokes to teasing about crushes on girls. "He was technically my first kiss because of a dare, but I refuse to count it. We were both 11, and he was trying to prove that he wasn't scared of girl cooties."

"Paul? How embarrassing," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes, my cheeks heating up at the way he was looking at me. "If you need anything to make fun of him for, you have my full permission to use that."

He nodded, placing some of the pieces back in place. "Oh, I absolutely will. Anything to get under Paul's skin."

We talked for a while, and he confirmed that my car desperately needed an oil change. I tried to argue against letting him fix it right then, but eventually lost the fight on the promise that I'd make him chocolate chip cookies to pay him back.

After backing my car out of the garage, he handed my keys back to me. I bit my lip, looking up at him. "Thanks for doing this, I do owe you," I said, my voice quiet.

"You don't owe me anything. Like I said, it was a favor for a friend," he countered, not moving away as he stood no more than two feet from me. He kept my gaze for a moment that felt like an eternity, his lips turning up in a soft smile. Every inch of my body wanted to step closer, though I didn't move. I didn't need to; he stepped toward me, closing the gap. I felt the instant jolt of adrenaline, my head spinning as my heart raced. It was almost as if he noticed this because he smirked slightly, leaning down closer to me.

With his face just a few inches from my own, I blurted out, "You make me really nervous"

He froze, his expression turning to one of concern as he started to back away. "Nervous?"

I shook my head quickly, my hand reaching out for his arm to stop him. "In a good way!" I giggled, biting my lip again.

"In a good way," he echoed, relieved seconds before his lips found my own. His hand found my waist, pulling me closer to him as his lips moved easily against my own. My mind felt like it was swimming as he pulled away a few seconds later, far too soon. The sudden absence of the heat of his body was jolting as I tried to regain control of my thoughts. His eyes searched my own before his expression became unreadable.

Shaking his head, he stepped back a little. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

Before I could argue, he turned and stalked off away from the garage; his hand raking through his hair before dropping to his sides in a tight fist, shaking. I stood in place, dumbfounded before my own shaking hands opened my car door. By the time I drove down the road away from his house, he was nowhere in sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been the longest and my favorite chapter to date. I had this and the next two chapters fully fleshed out, it was just sitting down to write it all that took the most time. I hope to get back to my Wed/Thurs schedule next week. I hope you all are staying safe and healthy! Thanks for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8

The same anxious dread I felt when I woke up this morning was still present as I drummed my fingers against my steering wheel. I parked at the edge of the parking lot where the small reservation school only sported a few dozen cars. I watched as small groups of students walked in, checking the time on the dashboard for the 10th time in 2 minutes. Silently cursing my mom for deciding that this was the best school arrangement for my four-week stay in La Push. I had spent every single year of school with the same kids in Neah Bay since I was in preschool. The idea of being a new kid, and for only a handful of weeks, mortifying.

On top of this, I was still doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out what had happened last night. Jake had kissed me and ran off just as soon as it happened.

'I shouldn't have done that?' my mine echoed his words as I picked the skin on my thumb absentmindedly. I shouldn't have done that, what did that mean? Was kissing me really a mistake?

Admittedly, it probably wasn't a good idea to get involved with someone I would have to leave in a few weeks anyway, but there was something about him that I couldn't quite put into words. I wanted him to kiss me then, and if I was being honest with myself, I wouldn't say no right now either.

Emily had insisted on watching a movie with me last night before we went to bed, but I decided against telling her anything that had happened just a few hours before. I didn't feel like answering twenty questions because I wasn't sure I could really explain any of it even to myself. Sam had come in late, eyeing me warily before he disappeared up to their bedroom.

Sighing, I pulled myself from my car when I spotted Seth walking up from the road where Sue dropped him off. I waited for him, my backpack hanging from one shoulder. He was the first face I recognized so far.

"If I had known Sue was going to drive you, I would have just offered to pick you up," I said as he strode up to me. I still had a hard time reconciling his recent growth spurt and the fact that little Seth now towered over me. If I wasn't imaging things, I'd guess that he grew another two inches from when I saw him a few days ago. He was filling out with gangly muscle too.

"This is my, uh... first day back since..." he shrugged, and I filled in the blanks. Since Harry passed. "I wasn't sure I was feeling up to it, but my mom and Sam insisted."

Sam? I questioned in my mind, but I didn't question it. I guess Seth fell into the category of kids that Sam worked with, especially being Emily's cousin. With some of the kids that frequented the house, Sam seemed like more of an authority figure for them than their own parents.

I followed Seth to the small main office, getting a small wave as he avoided the curious eyes of the secretary behind the desk and dipped back out of the office just as fast as he had entered. Wordlessly, she handed me my schedule with a tight-lipped smile, and I turned to leave. The school was small enough, that multiple classes were taught by the same teacher back to back. Something that matched what I was used to.

I slipped into my first class behind a pair of boys who were loudly joking. The teacher, already busy writing on the board, gestured to the desk in the back where an open seat sat empty. Slipping my backpack off of my shoulder as I sat down, I gave a polite smile to the guy beside me. He was leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed as he looked up at me.

"I didn't know we were getting a new kid," he said warmly as I nodded. "I'm Quil." He introduced himself, reaching a hand toward me.

I shook his hand, "Olivia. I'm only here for a few weeks. I'm from Neah Bay, but I had to stay with my sister, Emily, for a while."

To this he frowned, his eyes studying me for a long moment. "Emily Young? The same one engaged to Sam Uley?"

"Yeah, that's her. Do you know her too?" I asked, watching as his face twisted from curiosity to a bitter, dejected mask. He turned to look out the window, his head shaking slightly.

"No, I don't," he answered sharply, letting an uncomfortable silence fall between us. I busied myself pulling out my notebook, reaching into my backpack to turn off the sound on my cellphone.

After a long minute of quiet, he leaned against the desk and looked at me. "My best friend used to sit in that seat. Embry. He just stopped showing up to school one day, wouldn't return my calls, started hanging out with Sam Uley. I never got an explanation. That was like two months ago," he explained, his voice quiet enough that the two girls in front of us wouldn't hear. I listened, though it seemed like he was just needing to vent more than telling me something I needed to hear. Until he continued.

"Then Jake followed. It's been weeks." I froze, my eyes wide as I looked back at Quil who was focused on tracing his pencil along a groove carved into the wood of the desk.

"Jake?" I echoed in a whisper. He shrugged, nodding without saying anything else. As the teacher began speaking, I stared down at the desk. My mind couldn't pause long enough to form a full thought, and all the strange, unexplained things I'd seen since arriving in La Push kept piling on top of each other. The way my sister seemed to keep me just outside of her life, the way Sam and his crew of teenagers came and went at all hours of the night, the way Quil spoke about his friends. Who just stopped going to school and how was the Council not on top of this? I knew how involved our Council became when one or a few teenagers started getting into trouble. La Push was even smaller than Neah Bay was, there was no way they didn't know.

And Jacob, the guy I couldn't stop thinking about, couldn't stay away from was tied up in the middle of it.

By the end of the morning, when it was time to switch classes, Quil stopped me. "I'm sorry for unloading on you earlier like that, I didn't mean to make you feel weird," he gave me a small, sympathetic smile before turning to disappear into the hallway of students.

I passed through the rest of the day barely paying attention, dodging questions about where I was from when at all possible. I stared at the posters lining the science classroom; counting the corners until finally the last bell sounded.

I tried to look for Seth, planning to offer him a ride home. However, as the flow of students filtering out of the school thinned, I realized that he must have left early. Sliding into the driver's seat of my car and pulling out of the parking lot, I made a split-second decision to turn in the opposite direction of my sister's house toward the beach. All I wanted was a quiet place to think, away from the chaos of the house and away from my sister's cheery, surface-level questions.

I checked my phone, answering my mom's text before sliding it into my back pocket. I planned to call my best friend once I found a good place to sit, desperate to hear about the drama back home to get my mind off my own life.

The beach was empty. The dark clouds and cold breeze coming in over the water was enough to keep people away, and for that I was thankful. As I started down the empty beach, I pulled my long hair back out of my face, some loose strands slipping free with a fresh gust of wind. I dropped my hands, giving up on capturing all of them. I kept my eyes down at the wet sand as I walked along, just a few feet shy of where the foamy surf was reaching with each ebb and flow. My eyes watering in the cold air; I blinked quickly to clear them, my fingers pulling the sleeve of my navy blue sweater down over my hands.

As I glanced up, I caught sight of a figure sitting on a rock a few dozen yards away. I froze, already knowing exactly who it was without needing to move any closer.

'If I turn around now, he won't even know I'm here,' I tried to reason with myself. Before I could turn to leave, a spark of anger flared up in me and I was walking straight for him. I wanted a straight answer from someone, and this new frustration-fueled courage would fade the second I hesitated. I almost never confronted anyone. I always let things go, let the confusion or frustration roll off of me. But something about this felt isolating. I felt shut out.

When I was just a handful yards from him, Jake turned to look at me for a long second. His jaw clenched and he turned away again, saying nothing.

"Hi?" I said as I stopped a few feet short of the rock he sat on, his body leaning forward with his arms on his knees. He didn't respond, his eyes moving down to his feet as he shook his head just enough for me to notice. "I met your friend Quil today. The one who says you ditched him with no explanation when you stopped going to school. Which made sense when I noticed that you and your friends were absent. He seemed to blame Sam."

This got his attention and he turned to look at me, his pained expression putting a slight pause in my anger. He still didn't say anything, raking his hands over his short, ink black hair. The silence only amplified my frustration, and I felt bitter tears sting my eyes. I always tended to cry when I got angry, no matter how hard I tried to fight it off.

"So what, you can kiss me and immediately regret it? To what—ignore me now? I don't get it," I accused, my cheeks burning as he turned to look at me again.

I watched as different emotions flicked across his face, his eyes holding mine. "Who said I regretted it?" Jacob finally spoke.

I sighed, crossing my arms tightly around myself. "You literally said 'I shouldn't have done that'."

He straightened, biting on his lip before answering. "I shouldn't have. But that doesn't mean I regret it."

I broke the eye contact, turning to look out at the waves rolling in. Their white peaks making small crests as the wind picked up. I didn't know how to respond to that. Every sentence I tried to piece together dropping off into a jumble of confusion as I shook my head. Before I could say anything, he stood. Closing the distance between us in just a few long strides, his hands were gently cradling the sides of my face.

His dark eyes searching my own, his face a conflicted mask as he leaned down. I felt my heart race as I dropped my arms to my sides.

"Tell me you don't want me to do this," Jake whispered, his face inches from mine as the heat of his hands burned into my skin.

"I can't do that," I replied softly, barely getting the words out before his lips crashed down onto my own. My hands instinctly pulled on his shirt as he moved closer, my body melting against his as our lips moved. I couldn't breathe, my head spinning when we finally broke apart. He rested his forehead against mine, his eyes still closed as his thumbs lightly traced along my cheekbones. He stood up, the distance between us again as he backed away.

"That didn't help any of my questions," I said finally, still slightly breathless.

He snorted, smirking dryly as he looked off down the beach behind me before his eyes returned to mine. "I think there's a lot I need to explain," Jake admitted, the smirk fading from his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Life has happened. I intended to have this chapter up much sooner than today.
> 
> I work in a hospital, and my job has changed drastically since the start of... everything. I have suddenly been spending close to 12 hours glued to my laptop, and then was shifted to working from home. Most days, I wanted nothing to do with looking at my laptop anymore than I had to and was suffering some pretty significant eye strain. It's taken me about 5 days to fully write this chapter, but I'm happy to say that I did it!
> 
> Hopefully things will stay stable as they have been for the past few days, and I'll be able to really work on this and even maybe write ahead so I can keep a regular schedule! (Maybe wishful thinking, but a gal can hope).
> 
> Thanks for reading, and thank you so SO much to those of you who have left kudos/reviews and bookmarked this story. It means so much to me.


	9. Chapter 9

I sat down beside him on the large rock, my smaller legs dangling off by a few inches. I pulled the sleeves of my sweater down over most of my hands, my fingers curling around the hems. He took a long breath, his hands flexing nervously. 

“Once I tell you this... I can’t take it back. And if you decide that you want nothing to do with this... with me, I’ll understand and I’ll respect that. You’ll never see me again if that’s what you want,” he let this hang between us, his eyes darkening as they searched mine as if trying to read my reaction. 

I nodded slightly, my mind racing as I tried to guess what could be so serious to make him say that. Finally, he continued, “I do need you to promise you’ll keep this secret no matter what. It’s not just mine to keep. There are a lot of people bound to this that need to be protected by it.” 

“I promise,” I said immediately, my voice just above a whisper. 

Jake took a deep breath, leaning over with his elbows on his knees as he stared down at the wet rocks under his shoes. “I don’t... I don’t know how much you know about our tribe’s stories. I know we were taught some of the Makah stories since our tribes are so close.” 

“We learned some stories, but I don’t remember a lot of it... Emily is so much better at stuff like this. She always paid a lot more attention to it,” I admitted, my right foot bouncing as I crossed my legs. My fingers absentmindedly picked at the seam of my jeans. 

He didn’t say anything for a moment, glancing over at me. “That’s the thing, they aren’t just stories.” 

I snorted out a soft laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, we definitely have a monster that steals kids away in a basket. I’ve even seen her myself,” I teased to which I earned a small grin from him. 

“At this point, I’d believe anything,” Jake replied, his smile fading quickly. “Everything I thought I knew about my life, the people in my life-- changed overnight.” 

Based on his tone, I had a hunch the same thing was about to happen to me. I tried to swallow, a tight nervous knot sitting in the back of my throat. My teeth aching with a dull anxiety. I wanted to ask what he meant by this, but I couldn’t get myself to say anything. 

Thankfully he continued after a long pause. “Our tribe believes that our people are... descended from wolves. The magic around it is why your tribe cut ties for a while a few hundred years ago.” 

I nodded, remembering this from our assemblies in school and what was taught during our tribal festivals. “I did know that. So, did you find out your great-great grandfather was a woodland creature?” I joked, somewhat light-heartedly though my voice was strained. He looked back over at me; a dark eyebrow arched in suspicion. 

“Not... exactly,” he drew out thoughtfully, wiping his hands against his jeans. “This sounds absolutely insane trying to say this out loud.” I realized he wasn’t saying this to me, but more to himself. 

“It’s not so much that we are actually descended from wolves... but we have the ability to shape shift into one. Or a small group of us can,” his eyes darted away from me as he said this, his tone too serious to be joking. 

My brow cinched together in confusion, my mouth opening and closing as I tried to form all my thoughts into one sentence. “Wait, what?” 

I waited for him to break into a smile, for a signal that this was just a joke. The somber, slight frown he wore as he looked at me told me otherwise. “Jake, that doesn’t make any sense,” I shook my head a little, a strand of my hair falling from the lazy job I had done pulling it back. 

“I know,” he replied quietly. “Trust me, I know it doesn’t.” 

Taking a deep breath, he began explaining, “I told you before that there was a lot you didn’t know. I meant it when I said it would become your problem too. It’s not like some... full moon, eating people thing. It’s meant to protect our people. A small group of us have the gene. There’s still a lot that we’re figuring out. No one who’s lived through this before is still alive, so we’re trying to go off of what they documented.” 

I digested this, a flurry of questions popping into my mind. “Protect them from what?” 

“Cold ones.” His tone was matter of fact, though I was sure he could easily read my nearly permanent expression of confusion that I wore. “Leeches, bloodsuckers, vampires—whatever the hell you want to call them.” 

To this, I burst out laughing. None of it was funny, but the nervous, shocked energy in my body had bubbled up until I was hysterically laughing. I clamped my hand over my mouth to muffle the sound of my giggles, my eyes watering. ‘I’m going insane,’ I thought to myself. 

After a long minute, I had calmed down enough to speak again. “You really aren’t kidding about the vampire thing? About any of it? What the fuck.” 

He snorted, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “No, I wish I was kidding. We just killed one a few weeks back.” 

“You killed it,” I echoed, trying to wrap my brain around this. 

He nodded, looking over his shoulder at me as he leaned against his knees again. “It’s what we do.” 

“And you can really turn into a dog?” 

“A really big dog,” he confirmed, his lips turning up into a small grin. 

“Can I see?” I asked, noticing his eyebrow twitch in shock. “Maybe not right now, I don’t think I can handle that today. But... maybe some time.” 

He sat up, bumping his shoulder into my own lightly. “If you want to.” 

“Do you like this... being a wolf thing?” I questioned. 

He shrugged. “No. I mean, I don’t know. I’m getting used to it, but I hated it at first. I still kind of do.” 

I nodded, thinking to myself for a moment. “Who else is one?” I asked, already having a good guess in my mind who else was part of this. 

“Paul, Embry, Jared, myself, and Sam,” he answered, confirming my suspicions. “Leah and Seth just joined a few weeks ago.” 

My jaw dropped as my head snapped to look at him. “Leah and Seth?” I whispered, the sudden memory of Seth’s comment about Sam this morning flooding back into my mind. The way Leah darted out of the garage last week without an explanation. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. He looked away back toward the water, but not before I could see the flash of pain in his eyes. 

“We kind of expected Seth, but not for years. And at that point we hoped that it wouldn’t happen. The family of leeches that caused this had moved away. Anytime a new one comes into town; it triggers the phasing. Lucky for us, there’s a whole fucking gang of them that like the area. That’s why there’s so many of us,” he spat out, biting down on his lip with a bitter shake of his head. “Harry had been watching Seth, but no one knew it was possible for a girl to phase. Leah lost it and turned right in front of him while they were arguing. The shock of it caused Seth to turn too. That’s how Harry had his heart attack.” 

I closed my eyes, feeling the dull pain of losing my uncle come back. “So, Sam is one of you too.” I didn’t say it like a question, it wasn’t really. “I’ve heard the way people talk about him. He’s in charge.” 

He nodded, the heel of his shoe kicking the bottom of the rock we sat on. “He was the first to phase like a year ago. He’s the Alpha, what he says goes.” 

“When Em said he worked with the local youth and with the council...” I trailed off, and he filled in the blanks. 

“That’s what she meant. Technically he’s the head of the council because of it. They listen to him.” 

“I feel like I have so many questions,” I admitted, picking at the sleeve of my sweater again. 

“I have answers, but... that’s not all of it,” he said with a sigh, brushing his hand over his short hair. 

“There’s more?” I laughed lightly, unsure how much more my mind could take as the mental exhaustion started to set in. 

He frowned again, nodding his head softly. “There’s a reason why I can tell you about all of this, but no one else could. Well... I guess they could but it needed to come from me and not someone else.” 

I listened, noticing his hands shaking again before he clenched them into a tight fist. “There’s something that can happen to us... it’s called an imprint. I-I don’t know how to fully explain it. I had only seen it through the views of people who it had already happened to. It wasn’t what I thought it was. I thought it was love at first sight or whatever. It wasn’t like that. When I saw you the day of Harry’s funeral...” he stopped, his jaw clenching as he stared out over the water. 

“It was like... gravity shifted. I was drawn to you. I don’t know if that makes sense.” 

“You ran off,” I recalled barely above a whisper, remembering how Jared had darted out the door after him. The way the air in the house became tense and awkward in a split second. 

“I ran off,” he nodded. “I was furious. I hated imprinting. I wanted nothing to do with it. I was angry that it took away my choice. I was angry that it could take away yours. I didn’t want to drag anyone else into this hell. It took Jared four hours to coax me back to the rez. He tried to convince me that it wasn’t so bad. I don’t know... maybe it wasn’t. But it felt like I had the rug pulled out from under me, just when I was finally getting used to my new life.” 

“What does an imprint mean exactly?” I felt my heart thudding in my chest, my head spinning. 

He finally looked at me, his dark eyes holding mine. “Our legends say it’s like a bond. You would do anything, be anyone for her. Or him, I guess. A friend, a lover, a protector. No one knows why it happens exactly. Our best guess is that it's like your soulmate. Sam thinks it has to do with the bloodlines, or whatever. I think that idea is fucked.” 

“And you imprinted on me,” I confirmed as he nodded once, his gaze moving to the ground. 

“By the time I had finally calmed down, I had decided that I wasn’t going to tell you. I wasn’t going to do anything unless I thought you liked me on your own. No one else had really tried to stay away from their imprints before. I was planning to be the first to find out, but you kept showing up everywhere.” He took a deep breath, sighing heavily. “I wasn’t going to take your choice away. I didn’t want you to feel pressured to want me around. I didn’t want you to feel guilty about turning me down. If you never knew, no harm was done. I would just learn to live with the pain until it went away. I was looking for any excuse to keep myself busy. I think if I wasn’t on patrol, I was in my garage.” 

“The timing was just shit. My friend, Bella... I had a thing for her for a while. Two days before you showed up, she had just taken off to Italy after her bloodsucker of a boyfriend. Harry had just died. Seth and Leah both just joined the pack. I wasn’t exactly expecting anyone else to enter the equation. I didn’t know how to feel.” 

“She’s dating one of them?” 

He cringed, a quick nod confirming. “Yeah I don’t get the appeal of dating a dead guy. Technically his family, coven, whatever... they feed on animals. We have a treaty with them that they don’t bite any humans and we allow them to live where they are just outside of Forks. My great-grandfather was the one to negotiate it with their leader. They did move away last fall, when he broke up with her. But now they’re back.” 

I didn’t say anything for a while, processing all this intense new information. “You said ‘live with the pain’. What does that mean?” I wondered, his forehead resting against his head before he sat up again. 

“I don’t know that pain is the right way to describe it. More like fighting against the pull of a magnet, of gravity. It’s a tense, jittery anxiety. When I’m around you, I feel like myself. I meant it when I said I shouldn’t have kissed you. I beat myself up all last night. I think I drove the guys nuts with my thoughts.” 

“I wanted you too,” I admitted, my voice soft. He fought back a small smile, shaking his head. “Wait... your thoughts? What does that mean?” 

This earned a chuckle and amused grin from Jake, who seemed to shed most of the stress he was holding in his body. “When we’re in wolf-form, we can hear each other’s thoughts. It’s how we communicate.” 

I narrowed my eyes at him as he reached his hand out toward me, resting the back of his hand against mine. “I’m also 108 degrees normally.” 

This explained the intense heat I felt with each kiss, my body humming at the memory. “That’s definitely not normal,” I giggled, my own hands freezing from the cold wind. 

I listened as he explained more about his life as a wolf-- the speed, the enhanced senses, the growth spurts. We sat quietly for a few minutes after he finished before he spoke up again. 

“Do you like me or is it this imprint thing?” I asked, biting on my lower lip. The question was nagging at my thoughts, and I knew I would regret not asking though I was scared of what his answer would be. What if he didn’t like me. What if he had to like me. 

He didn’t answer right away, and I felt my heart sink the longer the silence stretched. “I would never have chosen this. I’m not saying I wouldn’t have chosen you—I think I would have eventually. But I wish this... imprint wasn’t part of it. I do like you, and I would have liked you even without it. You’re cute, and you have a little attitude. It's funny, you’re not mean with it. You have these little dimples that show when you laugh, and your eyes... Yeah, I would have liked you anyway. That part doesn’t change. It might have just taken me longer to fully realize it.” As he finished, he turned to look at me. I tried to bite back a soft smile, relief washing out my nerves. 

“Okay good, because I like you,” I admitted. I felt my smile match his, this time taking my turn to bump my shoulder into his arm. 

His smile faded, biting his lip before he spoke again. “I want you to know that being around us... It’s dangerous. We can mostly control our phasing, but it’s not guaranteed. If any of us lose our temper for even a split second near you, you could get seriously hurt. Some of us have better control than others, but shit can still happen. None of us would ever try to hurt you or anyone else, but... it’s happened before.” He watched me carefully, his eyes following my expression. 

At first I was about to shrug this off, then I realized exactly what he meant. “Emily,” I whispered, my heart sinking as I remembered the panicked phone call from the hospital. He nodded silently. “Who was it? How did that even happen?” 

I could feel myself slipping into a panic attack, my vision tunneling as I was thrown back into the memories of a sleepless night spent crying in an empty hospital lobby with Jen while my mother and Sue talked down the hallway. The exhaustion and relief I felt when the doctor was able to assure us she would live. All this time we believed it was a bear attack. 

“Sam... he had imprinted on her. That’s why he and Leah broke up, that’s why he kept going up to Neah to see her. That’s why they’re together now. He had only been a wolf for a few months at most, Jared was the only other one by then. He didn’t have the iron-tight control on himself that he does now. They got into an argument, and something she said set him off. She was standing too close when he exploded. From what I’ve seen in his mind, he was reaching out to push her away, but his hand wasn’t a hand by then,” he explained, his hand instinctively moving to my back as my breathing came in short, fast beats. 

“Hey, hey, breathe,” he murmured, rubbing my back as I tried to calm down. My eyes burned with tears, and I angrily wiped them away. “He still hates himself for it. Emily never blamed him. She forgave him, but I know the guilt and pain he still carries from it.” 

“Has it happened to anyone else?” I asked, unable to find the words for anything else. I couldn’t pinpoint one single emotion: my body a mix of old fear and new anger. 

“No, Sam has insisted that we all stay away from people as much as we can as new pack members. He knew you were around Seth and Leah and nearly lost his shit. Leah has pretty good control, but that’s why Seth has been scarce lately. Not that Leah listens to most of what Sam says,” he said, and I smiled slightly at the thought of Leah’s attitude. Of course, she wouldn’t. 

“I’ll understand if you want to stay from me, from any of us, because of this. I can’t blame you. Not after what you’ve been through.” His hand dropped away from my back, and the loss of contact made me frown. I looked over to him, the gentleness in his deep brown eyes making it hard to reconcile what I knew he was capable of. 

I shook my head, taking a deep breath. “No, I don’t think I want that. I can take care of myself.” I did want to talk to my sister, already planning out what I wanted to say. The frustration I felt that she would keep this from me. Knowing that she would have kept this secret forever had Jacob not been involved. 

He nodded in agreement, his eyes flicking down to my lips before he turned away to the ground where the waves were creeping in with the tide. After a few moments, I stood up, checking the time on my phone. Somehow it was almost 5:30pm, the beach darkening as the sun began to set behind the dark clouds. “Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” I asked. He raised an eyebrow, grinning as he shrugged. 

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” he returned the question. “I’ll be in my garage by the time you’re out of school.” 

“Then that’s where I’ll be,” I smiled, starting down the beach to my car, his long strides following beside me.


	10. Chapter 10

As I stepped out of my car, I could hear voices and laughter coming from inside the house. My mind was still spinning from the secrets that Jacob had let me in on, but I finally felt peace knowing I wasn't on the outside anymore. With that came the hurt knowing that my sister would have kept her secrets from me forever. We had spent our entire childhoods telling each other everything, and with the insight I had now, I could pinpoint the exact moment that I began to feel shut out of her life. It all made sense now. Part of me felt guilty for being so hurt and holding it against her; it wasn't just her secret she would be divulging. The same secret I was holding now too.

I swallowed the sour feeling, climbing the handful of stairs to the porch. As I pulled the screen door open, I could smell the dinner that had probably been waiting on me for a while. No doubt she had placed my plate in the microwave, it would have disappeared into the stomach of a teenager boy if she hadn't.

Sam sat at the small dinner table with Paul and Embry deep in a conversation, though I didn't listen closely enough to figure out what they were talking about. Sam glanced up at me with a polite smile as I dropped my bag by the door, but I walked past him into the kitchen where Emily was putting away the remnants of the dinner ingredients.

She looked over as she shut a cupboard door, grinning brightly at me. "How was school? I thought you'd be home earlier, but I didn't want to hover, so I didn't call."

I shrugged, leaning my back against the fridge. "It was fine."

I didn't offer any other details, and this caught her attention. She stopped, a spice bottle still in her hands. "Is everything okay?"

To this, the conversation a few feet away fell away into an uncomfortable silence. I looked down at my shoes, the edges still dark from the wet sand of the beach. "Can I talk to you... alone?" I asked, my voice hesitant and quiet.

She glanced over at the guys, and I heard Sam shoo them out the door as he followed. In their absence, I took a deep breath as she studied me carefully. Before I could figure out where I wanted to begin, she spoke up first. "You know."

I just nodded, meeting her gaze again.

"I was wondering how long Jake would hold out on telling you," she smirked, turning to put the spice bottle in its place before leaning against the sink ledge, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, well I didn't really give him any other choice. I wasn't planning to leave without an explanation," I shrugged again.

"I'm glad you finally know, everyone's been walking on eggshells making sure they didn't let it slip," she laughed lightly, but I could only nod, biting my lip. "I tried to tell him it wasn't as bad as he was making it out to be, but-" she rambled on, and I finally cut her off.

"Em..." I started, my hands fidgeting with my sleeves again. Her smirk dropped off, and I felt the guilt creeping back in. "You weren't going to tell me. What really happening. I would have gone forever not knowing."

"Livie, I couldn't," she said though her voice was barely over a whisper. My chest ached as the memories flooded back once again, the pain I had pushed away once I had known she would be okay. I had never fully dealt with it, telling myself everything was fine now.

"You would have kept this to yourself forever," I accused, feeling my eyes sting with tears. I hated that I always cried when I got angry, no matter how hard I tried to fight it off. There was no easier way to have your anger dismissed.

"Not to myself. Everyone here knows. Leah knows," she reasoned.

I couldn't help myself as I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, and I'm sure she's just chomping at the bit to pour out support to you right now," I said spitefully, seeing the hurt flicker in her eyes as it left my mouth, instantly wishing I could take it back.

"Olivia, I had to make a choice. Now you understand that I wasn't just protecting Sam. I was protecting the entire tribe." I nodded silently, chewing on my lower lip to stop myself from crying.

"I'm your sister. None of it made sense. We thought you were going to die," I countered, and she moved toward me. I let her wrap her arms around me, leaning into the embrace as she stroked my hair, her cheek resting against the top of my head. The familiarity of this was comforting, and I felt the anxiety I had been holding onto melt away.

"You are my sister, and I promise I'll never keep anything from you again."

I sighed as she pulled back, giving her a small smile. "Now you don't have any reason to."

She brushed her thumbs under my eyes, something she used to do when I was younger and deeply upset about something. Though usually then it was over a dying baby bird on our front lawn or being told that we couldn't get a puppy for the tenth time. "Were you mad at him?" I asked, running my fingers through my hair.

"It didn't last. I couldn't stay angry with him when I saw how much he hated himself for what happened," she admitted, carefully folding the dish towel that had been lying next to the sink. "So I take it you took everything pretty well. You're not melting down."

I snorted, laughing lightly. "I'm pretty sure I'm just in denial. How is someone supposed to handle finding out that fairytale monsters are real?"

"If you ever figure that out, let me know. There are some days where I'm pretty sure I'm living in an alternate dimension," she joked as I hopped up, perching myself on the edge of the counter.

"So you've adopted the role as pseudo-mom?" I asked, gesturing to the table where the empty plates still sat.

She shrugged, crossing her arms as she leaned next to me. "Something like that. A lot of them can't tell their parents, they aren't already on the council. This is their safe place where they don't have to pretend, you know?"

I nodded, considering this. Realizing that I, too, would be keeping secrets from my own mother. Something that Emily had been living for more than the last year.

"Plus, I've always loved cooking, and I can test any recipe and know that they'll eat it," she laughed to herself.

"They really do put food away like it's a job," I agreed, feeling myself relax as I grinned back at her. "So they're all..."

She nodded before I finished, her eyes trained on the table where the crew of them usually were congregated. "Yeah, there's a few more they're keeping an eye on too. The elders on the council have traced back bloodlines so they know who to watch."

"And they're all okay with it?" I tried to imagine life with such a massive disruption, but even just the thought stressed me out.

Emily sighed, frowning slightly. "Some more than others. The elders hold a lot of pride in it, but they aren't the ones living through it. The boys take it seriously, but some struggle with what it means. Most of them have had to drop out of school for the time being. The council has been working with the school so they can still graduate on their time, but these kids are on the go constantly. For a while it seemed like they could go back to normal, but then the Cullens decided to come back."

"So they're bound to this indefinitely?" I asked, her comments reminding me of Quil's quips about his friends leaving school.

"It's hard to tell. The family doesn't stay in locations for very long, and they've already been here several years. Sam is hoping they'll move on after graduation in a few months."

"It doesn't seem fair. For all these kids to have their lives on hold until a bunch of other people decide what they want to do," I said as I leaned over, pressing a button on the microwave, turning it on to warm up my leftovers.

Em looked over to me, the left side of her mouth turning up in a smirk with her eyebrow raised. "What?" I mumbled, pulling a fork out of a drawer beside my dangling legs.

She shook her head, pushing off the counter to walk to the table, gathering the dishes left abandoned. "That just sounds exactly like something Jake would say. Just a bit more... PG."

I rolled my eyes again, though my cheeks flushed pink. Thankfully the microwave beeped done then, so I reached over to retrieve my dinner instead of responding. My sister, being herself, didn't leave it at that. "I take it that the conversation went okay. You aren't melting down right now. He was convinced it would be a disaster," she said casually, piling the plates into the empty sink and turning on the water with a flick of her hand.

I shrugged, picking off my first bite of lasagna. "Yeah, it was okay."

She glanced back at me over her shoulder, narrowing her eyes at me playfully. I was never the one to indulge her with details over boys, being far more easily embarrassed than her. "Do you like him?"

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from smiling. "He's cute," I admitted, grinning as she shook her head at my unwillingness to give her what she wanted.

"Thought so," she winked before turning back to the dishes. She probably did, at times I thought she knew me better than I knew myself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we are BACK! I made this chapter shorter because I wanted the next part with Jake to be quite longer, longer than I would want this full chapter to be. I love writing the sister dynamic between Liv and Emily. I'm happy to be back in action here, and I hope you all enjoyed this quick read! Thanks so much for the reviews I've gotten over the last few months, they mean the world to me. Each one has helped to push away my writer's block. Have a great Sunday and I'll see you all in a few days!


End file.
